So those of you who follow know that my amazing and wonderful Nanny Sue went to be with Jesus. For those of you who have lost loved ones who are close to you know the pain and questioning that takes place. No matter the age or situation in life it is never easy to face the death of someone you love.
Nanny Sue was almost 86, the mother of 15! Yep 15 and was a beautiful woman on the inside and out!
I have been a christian for most of my life, have lost classmates, past boyfriend, dearest grandpa's, great-grand parents, and sweet and treasured friends to death. Most of them believed in God and had a personal relationship with Jesus. My Nanny Sue loved Jesus with all her heart, was a true example of Him, and walked in humility and adoration of God more then anyone I have ever met.
Yet, her death has been the hardest and most faith shaking of all. I spent days before her death visiting her frail body and enjoying the last moments of her sweet spirit. I would leave and cry out for mercy to the Lord for her. The Lord gave me a verse two days before she passed Micah 7:18 b says, "He delights in mercy." I remember going for a run the day she passed, I believe she was out side getting her last breaths of fresh air at the time while family sang to her. I remember running and praying for her and thinking so much about her that it was difficult to even breathe myself. I slowed my run as tears streamed down and the crisp breeze blew past my face as I began my cry and questions to the Lord . "Jesus, you say you delight in mercy! Please have mercy on this daughter, loving, humble servant of yours."
The phone call came not long after I was home and hit harder then a powerful blow to the gut. Why is it that we know death is coming. It will come to us all, and yet even when we know it is coming it still sneaks up on us and shocks us all. Shock is a light way of describing what the next few days, week, would be like.
The service was absolutely beautiful and the support from family and friends was unreal! I loved hearing all the amazing stories of how she impacted others for eternity sake.
However, even at the service I found myself asking God why? Questioning what heaven was like, what she was doing now, and how crazy and short life here on earth seems. My man always says, "These are the times that challenge us, "Do you really believe what you say you believe?"
Do you believe that when you die, if you have a personal relationship with Jesus, believe He came to earth, died on the cross, and was raised from the dead so that we might have a opportunity to choose and believe and spend eternity in heaven with Him. Do I believe that? Yes I do! I have been through the arguments in my head and studied them out to know it is truth! I have heard God's voice, seen Him work miracles in my family, in our lives, in our community, watched Him provide and protect us in only ways God can. I know He is real! I know He loves me and died for me! I know He wants a relationship with me! I know!
For me it was not the question of do I believe God is real and I need to have a relationship with Him. I do! And I treasure that relationship and want to know Him more and love Him deeper! For me the question was what is happening to Nanny Sue now? For me the question was do I really believe Heaven is for real? Do I believe the BIBLE and what God/Jesus promise throughout the scriptures is true? Is Nanny Sue now in Heaven with others we loved so much? Is she without pain? Does she have the new healthy and alive body? So many questions were raging through my mind about heaven. I had never really stopped to dig deeper and now I just had to! I wanted to!
As we returned from the service and life continued as usual, the empty void in my inmost was something I could not ignore. I began to pray... "Lord I believe, I know I believe, help my unbelief or what felt like an uneasy questioning of my faith."
The next night I shared with my man the struggle I was having. We talked for a while about Heaven and God's plan for our lives and the why's behind it all. He referenced scripture and shared his wisdom with me the Lord brought some light and answers to my heart and mind. Reminders that He LOVES us and that He has allowed us to live and choose and love so that we know a little bit more about who He is! As we finished our discussion with tears and prayers I was overwhelmed by God's love to speak to me. To answer me, to answer the questions of my faith. He is good!
The next two days the Lord continued to answer me with these scriptures as encouragement as He gently speaks into my heart and life that He is HOPE, He is REAL, He is LOVE, His Word is REAL and He has great plans for each of us, and HEAVEN is for REAL!
I Corinthians 2: 9
Eyes have not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which GOD has prepared for those who LOVE HIM.
Haggai 3:5a Haggai 3:17 Malachi 3:6
Haggai 1: 13b Haggai 2:4&5 I Corinthians 1:18 & 25
I Corinthians 2: 5, 9,
My parents had given each of the kids in our family a copy of the book, "HEAVEN is for REAL" for Christmas and even blessed the kids with a copy of the children's version.
I picked the book up two days ago and in two nap times and I was finished with the book! I couldn't put it down. THe Lord used so many passages and this young boy's story to confirm and reaffirm His truth to me that Heaven is for Real! And not only was heaven for real, but that Nanny Sue was there, with Dad (her hubby) and Uncle Dan (her son) and many others who are all enjoying the abundant life in Christ that we will enjoy with them one day if we choose, as they did, to believe.
I am a firm believer that you have to question and cry out to God when there is doubt and uncertainty. Sometimes it can be scary, but it is so needed to anchor the faith. The one thing I will say is that I would encourage going to the BIBLE and Godly men and women for the answers!
The Lord has answered me through His word, the Bible, my man, and through this book. He is so gracious! He loves us and wants us to know how real He is. He wants to be active and apart of our lives! He wants us all to spend eternity in Heaven with Him! He wants us to believe heaven is for real, but more importantly HE is for REAL! The only way to heaven is to believe in HIM!
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten son.
That whoever BELIEVES on HIM will not perish but have EVERLASTING LIFE!
Today my prayer is that you would believe on Him and that you would know God is Real, Jesus is Real, and Heaven is Real and that you may choose LIFE!
Thank you for letting me share my heart with you today! I would love to talk to anyone more if interested.